This is how you Web 2.0

Point. Set. Match.

Come on you guys this isn’t funny anymore. So I noticed today that you can play fantasy WNBA. Sweet… Sweet. What are the default scoring categories in that league? I imagine they might be assists, teamwork, camaraderie, layups, heart, trying hard, setting an example, and layup percentage? Does a fantasy game of a fake league cancel out like a double negative and create a superfantastical competition? Where do I sign up? Actually, nevermind that. I’m sucking too hard in my current fantasy baseball leagues and I couldn’t deal with worrying about losing a WNBA fantasy league by not having the one player to dunk on my team.

Cody: Dennis Haysbert is MY black president.
Shaun: Do you have Allstate insurance?
Cody: No.
Shaun: Why not?
Cody: Cause I have Progressive and it’s cheap as hell, $391 for 6 months I pay I think.
Shaun: But they don’t have The Haysbert Factor.
Cody: True… but they have the unattractive brunette.
Shaun: Does she tweet?
Cody: Probably. I mean, fuck, look at her. That’s the look of a broad that has nothing to say and can do so in 140 characters or less.
Shaun: All the attention on twitter lately kinda makes me want an account, even though it’s stupid.
Cody: Shaun… I swear to the Christian God…

On one hand this can be seen as somewhat of a win, kind of, maybe. On the other less creepy, non-Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, regular sexual interest, and overall less illegal hand this has to be counted as a fairly massive loss to the accurate promotion of Hot Girls (Don’t Typo). As for the people that would Google doing drugs over doing cocaine/coke, well that’s just greedy. Pick one and be happy with what you get because no, you can’t have all of the drugs. Out of curiosity I did a full search of the “hot girls doing cocaine” thing (which you’ll also have to do to understand the following). The second listed item presented, the Youtube one, well, that is just really specific in a fairly special, yet SFW way. It’s that right mix of horror and applause. It’s like that line in Face/Off where Castor Troy (as Sean Archer) says to Dr. Eve Archer, “I hate to see you go, but I LOVE to watch you leave.” There’s just a lot of turmoil, that’s all I’m saying. As for the seventh listed item, that’s not really a question. Learn when to use question marks. Learn when to use question marks?

Monday, 12:23 PM. This type of wow just forced me to get out of bed. I have to shower off Cate’s stunning level of smurtz. In the immortal words of Kenny Powers, you know history like a fuckin’ dickhead.

• Shaun: I wish Carl Winslow had played this security guard.
• Cody: Carl Winslow doesn't play ALL black security guards and cops.
• Shaun: But he should.
• Cody: Most of them? Sure. But all? That's a dirty stereotype. Does Hank from The Office bother you?
• Shaun: TV shows are fine for other actors, but i feel VelJohnson has the movie roles locked down for himself.
• Cody: The man owned the 80s. If that piece of equipment was worked on for so many years, why is it just lying on a table?
• Shaun: They had computers hooked up to it earlier, probably didn't want to disconnect it every night. They have a non-VelJohnson security guard keeping an eye on it, that's their main problem.

Do I enjoy it when people read Hot Girls? Well of course I do, it’s the name of the game. This applies to nearly everybody except for the one asshole who discovered my neck of the Internet by Yahooing “hot girls” from the General Motors Corporation. First of all, congratulations on using Yahoo for anything besides fantasy sports, you’re officially retarded. Second, didn’t you just receive billions in spectacular failure money on top of your thousands and thousands of layoffs? You sir are a fuck, I’m glad to see you take the time out of your busy day to suck really hard at searching for porn.